| (no subject) |
[Aug. 4th, 2008|12:44 pm] |
having this done on friday:
so that's, you know, exactly what i wanted to do w/ my two and only weeks off.
other than that life is pretty great. anxiously awaiting the start of my tenure at homestead high school.
o, and 25's not so bad.
the wii fit has changed my life.
speaking of anxiously, i am now on only one of my daily pills, and i already feel SO much better. like, i don't feel like i'm a zombie as much!! so, yay for living.
ummm that's all. we're going to the zoo today! |
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| watermelonwatermelonwatermelon. |
[Jul. 10th, 2008|11:58 am] |
aight. here we go:
my tenure at half moon bay couldn't have ended soon enough. i was so completely miserable there, just in general. toward the end of the year my principal resigned before our letter of no confidence would have been read publicly before the board. i think if i were to stay things would be different, for sure, but that school/district is sick, and i, for my own health, need to be someplace not quite so toxic.
i look forward to starting at homestead high school in cupertino this august, however. i'll be teaching three sections of american literature (a junior/senior combined course) and two sections of sophomore, world lit. i think these classes will suit me, and i really hope the kids like me. i hope i am better able to make an impact at the school. i hope to better myself and like my job, again.
currently i am working as a summer school english 9 teacher for the saratoga/los gatos district, just a few minutes south of me. there's a lot of students in here (we're watching animal farm right now, having just finished the book)... like, 36 of them. for the most part i really like the kids, not quite as sheltered as hmb, though, as ever, i am behind in grading. tomorrow is the end of the first three-week semester, which means i'm half way done. i'm glad i'm doing it, though-- if i weren't doing this i'd be sitting at home getting as fat as last year and not doing anything. at least i'm moderately using my brain, here, and the money... okay i'm well aware i'm in a relationship and all but we have NO money. we live in fuckin' silicon valley, y'all... we'se PO' FOLK. we bought a car after i was rear-ended: we named him remington steele (obviously). he's a 2008 rav4 sport and he's a fabulous and gay as he sounds. and we bought it TOGETHER. that's, like, big-boy shit. speaking of big boys, my baby finally got his license. like, about time, srsly.
xander and i are doing well. we've been working on fixing up the apartment, trying to make ourselves comfortable-- we're renewing our lease for another nine months, at which point we're either going to look for a more permanent apt or...gulp...a house. that's CRAZY shit but it might be time.
there is no talk of marriage, fyi. just b/c we CAN get married doesn't mean we want to right now. we plan to, to be sure, but not yet. :)
i'm having surgery on 08-08-08. remember les varicose veins in/around les balls? they're comin' out. i dropped off a, um, specimen yesterday at urologist (with whom i am friends on thefacebook, ha) to make sure my boys are good to begin with as sterility is a possible result of the surgery. i'm not overly concerned about it... i wonder if kids will even happen for us.
all is well. i'm a lot happier, in general. i really like living here, and i look forward for the years to come with my baby, living here in happiness.
also i turn 25 in ten days. not at all pleased about it. only five years till gay death, ha.
hope all is well,
miss you all more than i should say,
james :) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 2nd, 2008|03:50 pm] |
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turns out i'm alive... for real!! i promise to update soon. :) |
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| R.I.P. Pepe Ratti 2001-2008 |
[May. 22nd, 2008|09:41 am] |
He was a good car...
...but the money I'm getting for him to help buy my Rav4 helps deal w/ the pain.
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| (no subject) |
[May. 15th, 2008|10:34 am] |
sooooo i can get married, now.
I'M WAITING, XANDER. ;-) |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 14th, 2008|02:42 pm] |
tomorrow the ca supreme court is going to decide whether i can get married at some point or not.
i'd prefer if they didn't fuck this up for me. c'mon, golden state---- be your radical self. DO. IT. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 12th, 2008|05:51 pm] |
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also, facebook please stop telling me matthew moriarty should be my friend. i think we should be, too, but let's not beat a dead horse, shall we? |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 9th, 2008|07:44 am] |
new car? CHECK. being handled this weekend-ish--- mom and dad are coming into town and putting father's 15+ year history of union negotiating into practice.
new job? CHECK. was notified yesterday that i got my first choice for site placement. i am now a homestead high school mustang with pride. :) http://www.hhs.fuhsd.org
new apartment? CHECK... maybe. found a really sweet 2 b/b right off castro street in d-town mountain view. sweet layout, sweet complex, overlooks a park, granite countertops, etc. i went to look at it on wednesday and put a hold on it yesterday morning as i think xanderbaby is really gonna like it. we're viewing it tomorrow morning.
http://www.prometheusreg.com/residential/ppl/pplDesc.html
soooo a lot of changes, but i think i'm in an okay place to deal with them. i am most excited about the job, obviously--- i think it'll make a huge difference on the recovery front.*
*recovery coming along. i look forward to getting off my medication, though trepidatious. you'd think i woulda learned by now that, surprise i feel the worst after i drink, but i haven't. stupid ratteh. :P |
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| so... |
[May. 6th, 2008|12:46 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | my neck hurts... im SUIN!! | ] |
got in a car accident on the way to work today.
FUN.
basically rte 92, which fuckin sucks, is to blame. i saw four brake lights in front me of, i did stop in time not to hit the car in front of me, but the car behind me just slammed into my back end and not at ALL in the good way, which, of course, made me hit the car in front of me.
my back end is fucked. my car still drives, but my back end is fucked. like the boot won't open, yadda yadda. the damage is WAY more than my car is worth, so i'm thinkin' it's totalled. quite frankly, i hope so.
2007 rav4 here i cooooome!!! |
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| oi! |
[Apr. 23rd, 2008|10:48 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  excited | ] |
totally going to england in like six hours, ha. |
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| anyone remember... |
[Apr. 11th, 2008|09:59 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | D24 | ] |
| [ | music |
| | BATTLESTAR GALACTICA | ] |
...this?
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 9th, 2008|08:16 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | american idol gives back. | ] |
appt went well! really liked my doctor. indian doctors are always the best.
anyway ekg came back completely normal. in a month (b/c i need to be seen in the afternoons, and i'm going to teh england in two weeks!!) i'm gonna have the rest of the tests-- echocardio, treadmill, and they'll put me on a 24-hr monitor. no biggy.
she said she feels confident in saying it's just aaaaaall stress, but she wants to make sure. THEN we can deal w/ the stress, which, day by day (o dear lord to thee i pray), is getting better.
feeling pretty good. off to carmel-by-the-sea tomorrow!! |
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| fear. |
[Apr. 8th, 2008|03:52 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | couch. | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | pissed. | ] |
so, tomorrow i have an appt w/ a cardiologist.
my recovery from my, uh, attack almost two months ago has been progressing well. i sleep through the vast majority of most nights, now, and my heart rate... on the whole-picture average... has started to steady. i still def have bad days, but i recover from them faster and faster.
i've been really tired lately and it's been bothering me. i wake up okay in the mornings, but then a few hours later i'm just physically exhausted. i don't know. i feel like it's a flu that doesn't go away.
this cardiologist thing has me pretty scared, though. it's just precautionary-- when i went to the e.r. they ran about three or four ekg's and they came back STELLAR. like, the technician and the doctor were both like, "yea your heart has another ninety years on it." so, comforting piece of evidence number one. also if anything had been/was now really wrong i would know about it and would already be in hospital. comforting piece of evidence number two.
but i'm fucking petrified. i just picture her finding a murmur or some other terrible thing and i can't get it out of my mind. i'm trying. hard. i feel like i've become obsessive compulsive hypochondriac and i hate it.
i don't know. i know it'll be fine.
it'll be fine.
i'm fine. i'm fine. i'm fine. i'm fine. i'm fine. i'm fine. i'm fine. i'm fine. i'm fine. i'm fine.
whatever. i'm just pissed and tired of feeling like this. i'm tired of being a burden on xander. i'm twenty fucking four years old, and i just refuse to live like this.
okay so then, of course, when she tells me that my heart is perfectly happy and healthy right where it is, why is it that it's beating the way it is? if she just says, "relax," i'm afraid i'll have to laugh. i'm fuckin' trying, and still my back, neck, shoulders, and chest feel like a straight jacket.
so we'll see. should be fun.
o, i'm going to england in two-ish weeks. x is going for business, staying a few extra days, and i'm saying "fuck you" to the children and the STAR test and i'm out. why not? |
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| news, good. |
[Apr. 2nd, 2008|05:28 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | FUCKING STOKED | ] |
| [ | music |
| | jason mraz | ] |
have been offered job in fremont unin high school district which is not in fremont.
it's sunnyvale/cupertino. as in, where i live.
tots going to accept (I'M FREE FROM HALF MOON BAY THANK JEBUS), only snag comes if mountain view, where i *really* wanna work, calls, i interview, and get offered a position. but for right now?
hells. fucking. yes.
commute to any of the potential three schools i'd be at is max ten minutes, and i'm not at all ashamed to say it's an instant 14k raise.
so, that's exciting. funny how some of the anxiety melts a bit away after that, eh?
p.s. my mom graduated from fremont high, kindasorta my number one choice, in 1975 lol |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 1st, 2008|12:11 pm] |
when this is all over w/ i'm going to emerge as a fantastic butterfly, and it's going to be amazing.
until then it still pretty much sucks, ha. |
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| i've been immortalised. |
[Mar. 14th, 2008|10:48 am] |
on my whiteboard. so not really.
by" 2nd period freshmen english.
(notice apparently i've been bad in a middle eastern country-- i'm missing one of my right fingers!) |
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| fuck it. |
[Mar. 11th, 2008|08:43 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | a-10 | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | NOT CRAZY YET. | ] |
the subject of this entry is my new motto.
fuck it.
i like it. i think it sums up what i've been feeling for the past few weeks-ish.
i've been having a hard time with this anxiety thing, but it's time i took charge. i haven't been in charge, as of late. my crazy head floods my body with hormones, my heart races, and my mind gets even crazier. not good in the slightest. no time for it.
not gonna do it... wouldn't be prudent.
so, i'm taking some steps, finally. i'm not going to allow myself to go "there." everybody's been screaming this at me (and rightfully so) for the last MONTH and i'm finally starting to listening.
i've got it pretty good.
good job. good health. good head. good heart. amazing partner. like... the best. y'all don't even know.
so, fuck it. i am NOT going to be one of those people who let's little things that they have noooo control over (shit car, cunty principal, assholic [an adjective my mother made up in the late '90s] students, etc.) get to me the way that i have let them.
i win. not life.
so, that's all i'm gonna write about this. as far as i'm concerned, i don't have anxiety issues. i'm fuckin' fine. (that said, i am going to the doctor on thurs to see about the ulcer i thinik i've given myself, o joy o rapture.) and, as that glorious gloria gaynor (alliteration, wheeeeee!) once said... i. will. survive.
lastly, have been very active on the new job front. went to a job fair in palo alto last saturday and i have one in my own hood (cupertino, sunnyvale, san jooo) at the end of this month. i really feel someone will take me up on my offer. i mean, HELLO?! i'm awesome and shizz, c'mon.
<3 to all. we're watching shakespeare in love right now. i think they like it. don't really care... i figure if imma watch a movie three times a day i might as well enjoy it. :) |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 4th, 2008|01:33 pm] |
so, i'm sitting here, babysitting eld3 (they're "silently" reading, ha), and i'm reading my blogs, and, starting a few days ago, i'm reading about how the california supreme court is, for the first time in years, going to hear the debate over gay marriage.
it's kind of exciting.
i'm sending all of my energies, my hopes, my dreams, my wishes so that i can get MARRIED. am i ever gonna get married in a church? no. but i want to marry xander. i don't want a domestic or a civil partnership because it's NOT the same.
i feel very "plessy v. ferguson." like... i fuckin' want to get married.
i suppose there's hope, though. the ca courts kind of have their shit together, so that's good. and, with the increasing liberalness of the country (fucking SPAIN lets their gays get married, wtf?), i guess the whole "separate but equal is NOT equal" thing is being more widely accepted.
i read something that said ca is so landmark b/c we have the most people and b/c we have such an influence over country and global affairs.
i fuckin' hope so. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 24th, 2008|09:48 pm] |
You Are a Comma
|
You are open minded and extremely optimistic.
You enjoy almost all facets of life. You can find the good in almost anything.
You keep yourself busy with tons of friends, activities, and interests.
You find it hard to turn down an opportunity, even if you are pressed for time.
Your friends find you fascinating, charming, and easy to talk to.
(But with so many competing interests, you friends do feel like you hardly have time for them.)
You excel in: Inspiring people
You get along best with: The Question Mark
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janus83's journal
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